A boy: [reading from a letter] Uhh, do you like me? Yes, definitely, absolutely? Mabel: Check out this huge smooch mark he gave me! Mabel: Heh heh, gullible. That was just an accident with the leaf blower. Gnome: Oh, hey there. You know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in any danger.
She's just marrying all 1, of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity. Isn't that right, honey? Grunkle Stan: Naw, but with these cataracts I might as well be. What is that, a woodpecker? Beaver 2: [subtitled] That deserves a hug! Man: Brenda, now that we're alone, there's a question that my heart longs to ask you.
Stan: Hey, wanna hear a joke? Okay, here goes. My ex-wife still misses me Awkward silence Her aim is gettin' better! See, it's funny, 'cause marriage is horrible! Stan: For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible Sack of Mystery. When you put your money in it, it mysteriously disappears! Various tourists: [putting money in the bag] Oh yeah! That makes perfect sense!
That was totally worth the drive! Dipper: Whoa, where have you been? And what's with those fingernails? You look like a wolverine. Mabel: I know, right? I was hanging out with my new pal Gideon. He is one dapper little man! Mabel: Oh, leave him alone! You never wanna do girly stuff with me! You and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time. Soos: Hey dude! Ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one? Bud Gleeful: Well, I haven't seen the boy around.
But as long as you're here, you simply must come in for coffee! Bud Gleeful: cutting him off Ah, ah, it's imported - all the way from Columbia! Mabel: I don't know. I was in the friend zone, and then he pulled me into the romance zone! It was like quicksand! Chummity quicksand! Stan: It's all part of my long term deal with Bud Gleeful. There's a lot of money tied up in this thing. Plus I got this free t-shirt! I am fat. Wendy: [to Dipper] Pa: Always sassafrassing customers with their boomy-boxes and disrespectful short pants!
So we decided to up and ban them. But they retaliated with their newfangled rap music. Rapper: Homework's whack, and so are rules! Tucking in your shirts for fools! Rumpterfrabble as irascible coxswain Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire. Testosteraur: Not man enough? Stan: Face the music, kid. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's Dipper: Disco girl Stan: Thanks there, sugar pot.
I-I mean honey wasp, kitten baby, b-baby cow. Stan: Nothing. I don't want to talk about it. Talk about what? Why is this table wet? Mabel: Grunkle Stan, you are a cranky, gross, weird old man.
But we're gonna get Lazy Susan to like you, because nothing is stronger than the power of Dipper: Multibear, I seek your head! Or, one of them, anyway. There's like Six heads? Dipper Clone 3: C'mon, you're not gonna make me partner up with him, are you?
Tyrone: Shh, don't be rude! Dipper: You know, people teased me because of my birthmark before I started hiding it all the time. Wendy: The Big Dipper! That's how you got your nickname! Ugh, I thought you're parents hated you or something. Stan: No thank you! Just remember: if you two come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me! Dipper: In an old-timey accent There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!
Stan attempts to drive away, but his car is stuck in the mud. He calls out to a man who is walking with a donkey. Man: Here in , I have never heard tell of a "car. Stan: I can't take it anymore. Stan: Oh, look. The "constable! Throw me in "ye stocks?
Man on Film: If you're watching this, you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot once the filming is complete.
Someone speaks offscreen. Huh, that's a relief! Quentin Trembly And then he chased me around with a paddle for like, three hours! Bottom line: George Washington was a jerk. Dipper: Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs. Mabel: Don't worry, brother.
Dipper: Wendy, I just wanted to tell you that everyone makes mistakes. And when they do, you should forgive them. And also that tight pants are overrated. Take me to the Soviet Union!